Please read Jasmine's Story and Journey about Motherhood and especially when you had a hard time BONDING WITH YOUR CHILDREN!
🩵"What do you like doing in your free time?" I asked one of the twins during our photo session at Avalon Atlanta..
I expected the answer to be " video games" "watching TV" or "riding my bicycle"! but the little guy surprised me with "Wrestling with my brothers."
And boy did they wrestle!!!
Not only each other but sometimes even their mom🤣.
I have great respect for moms who have twins or triplets and Jasmine handled every situation with grace.
Although her awesome husband was there to help (and to line up for ice cream at Jeni's after) Jasmine had it all under control and did a great job at navigating the boys so I could get the Lifestyle shots that I wanted.
All while juggling snacks and water and answering questions from the boys.
The photos turned out amazing and I hope they will find a prime spot on her walls to remind her how awesome and beautiful she is.
You are doing a great job, Jasmine!
Find out more about Jasmine's Motherhood journey here:
"Motherhood is so unique and not just to each mother but with each child and each experience in motherhood. "
I wouldn’t have believed that the same mother could have two completely different journeys if I hadn’t experienced it for myself but I am one of those mothers.
I love this project for highlighting that motherhood can be so unique and different and truly is special.
Ari, my oldest, was conceived easily and had a relatively normal birth.
I am a NICU nurse so I felt very comfortable with sliding into the role of motherhood.
A little background about myself I have ADHD so sliding into any role feels challenging, focus doesn’t come easy and nothing ever feels like it fits quite right but motherhood with Ari was the opposite.
In the mornings after everyone left the house and it was just me and Ari we joined a hospital mothers group in the heart of the city which is where we lived and life, motherhood, and our bond just fell into all the right places!
Nothing had come to me as naturally as motherhood and I felt a glow in it.
Of course, there were ups and downs and he wasn’t a perfect sleeper but none of that mattered because he and I just fit.
I started documenting our days on Instagram and even others were so kind to comment on how much motherhood suited me.
I stayed home with Ari for 15 months and it was wonderful.
I couldn’t have asked for a better 1st motherhood journey. I was a part of two separate mom's groups, I stayed home with him, loved teaching him, going for walks in the city, and all the things.
At 15 months I knew he should go to school and as that time came it was time for me to go back to work.
On my first day at a new hospital as a maternity and NICU nurse, I threw up. I WAS PREGNANT!
Little did I know that I wasn’t just pregnant I was pregnant with TWINS!!!
By this time we lived in the burbs in our new home and my husband said "Jasmin, it’s been 10-12 weeks. Shouldn’t you make an OB appointment?"
I didn’t take much action. He actually made it for me. To be honest, I finally felt like I was ready to get back to my life as me and then I was PREGNANT!?!
My life felt like it was falling apart
"I would’ve been ok with just Ari" is how I felt.
Well, my husband was traveling quite a bit, so the only day appointments were available my parents came to my first ultrasound and my mom said
"What are the chances it’s twins!"
The nurse rolled her eyes and then took it back.
It was in fact, twins!
Everyone was thrilled and excited and I just kept waiting for it to come.
But the further along I got into pregnancy the more I realized it wasn’t coming. I
thought maybe there was a way to just have one, maybe we could give one up to a friend who was having trouble getting pregnant.
There had to be a reason we were “blessed” with two.
All of my friends reassured me that once they came I’d see them and the feelings would come and I insisted that I knew inside that they weren’t coming.
The feelings weren’t just gonna come and nothing would ever be like the bond I had with Ari.
This is so out of character for me. I mean I’m a NICU nurse, I love babies!
I had an amazing first experience in motherhood so what was wrong?
3 months came and went, and my in-laws lived with us to help and were wonderful.
I kept googling to see if anyone else didn’t bond right away and when it came.
Online every story ended the same way.
The child was born and the motherhood feelings came.
I reasoned with myself that they didn’t have twins, they didn’t completely lose the ability to do things alone without help, my other mom friends started having 2nd kids and they were having the beautiful journey I had with my first with their second.
6 months went and came and I tell you I just couldn’t feel anything.
I’m so appreciative of my husband standing by me without letting me feel an ounce of judgment for being this “terrible, unfeeling “ person who couldn’t find the love for these 2 completely beautiful, healthy innocent babies.
I decided I needed counseling and am forever grateful for that realization.
There was no magic switch and the feelings didn’t just lightbulb on but my therapist helped me to heal and process how I felt and to accept my feelings as what they were and that they didn’t make me a bad person.
She told me that even with just two kids herself things weren’t the same for her second child as her firstborn.
She helped me to see that it wasn’t just a personal flaw but that it’s always different with every child and that it doesn’t have to be in a certain way.
It’s just a different relationship.
I tried to never let the boys feel what I felt, as far as they knew everything was normal.
I put on the show but I truly wanted to feel myself.
After a while I started to feel the walls slowly come down, I started to not analyze my every feeling and to just go by "fake it till you make it".
About 2 years later, one day I looked at my husband and realized: "OMG, it is finally here!"
I can now appreciate my twins and love them and revel in the fact that they are not Ari.
No, they’re not angels, 😂 they’re double trouble but I love that about them.
I love them! I love our family!
This is a hard thing to share because no one ever lets down their guard and social media tells us to be grateful for what we got.
But it's not always Rainbows and Unicorns.
If there’s even one person like me out there who can benefit from my story then I want them to know
you’re not alone!
With time, help, and healing there’s still hope.
I’m fortunate to say that now I can look at all my 3 children with eyes full of love for the unique joy they bring to me.
I feel so grateful to be working together with awesome families and learning about their stories.
Are you ready to be one of them? Contact me HERE
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